Moving to Spain has been different from when I stayed in Costa Rica or Slovakia. During those visits (which were two to four months), I had a specific program and personnel who helped me understand the rules of how to live in another country. In Spain, I am largely on my own, being helped along by my cousin Layla and her husband Ian, and an active (and sometimes inaccurate) Facebook group.

When I worked with people who had refugee status in Fort Worth, Texas, and immigrants in Fredericksburg, Virginia, one of the main things we did was help people understand the logistics of how to live in a new country or culture. We often don’t realize the culture stress and lack of confidence many arrivals face. It’s scary to come to a new place where a misstep could set your family back, keep you from meeting important government deadlines, or getting needed services like health care. Also, the loneliness of living in a place where people don’t know or understand you, or can’t communicate with you, discourages new neighbors. There is a loss of self. One friend put it this way: “There was a stripping of who I am.”

Here are some ways you can help refugees, immigrants, international students or anyone who has just arrived in your city.

Take them to the grocery store

This might seem like complete common sense, but grocery stores and how people deal with food varies from country to country. In Spain, I spent five minutes hiding behind a fruit aisle in order to see how a girl correctly weighed and bagged her bananas. For my friends from Nepal or even Tanzania, walking into a large store like Wal-Mart or HEB can be overwhelming. There is a surplus of choices, and many foods are strange. It helps to have someone go with you the first time to show you how the system works and help you if you make a “mistake.”

Show them town/ city hall/ other relevant government/social service buildings (library, post office, hospital, etc.)

One of the most frustrating things about moving to a new place is dealing with paperwork and bureaucracy. Imagine the pain of going to the DMV then multiply that by 100, add a bunch of paperwork you didn’t know existed and an accent/ language barrier, and you have a small idea of dealing with the government in a foreign country. It’s not that one system is inherently good or bad; they’re just different and always a mandatory hassle. This is why it’s so important to help new arrivals know where these important buildings are and possibly help them make their appointments on time or help them with translation if needed.

Help with paperwork/ appointments

Also super important and needed. My proudest moment working with arrivals in Fort Worth was helping a friend from Iraq write a letter to the Immigration Office asking for her husband to be able to reunite with her and their newborn baby. This may seem like a little thing, but one small letter can go a long way. I’ve had help from family and friends dealing with my paperwork here in Spain, and it has been a life-saver.

Show them how public transit works

Once again, not everyone has ridden in a car or knows inherently how to use the bus/ Metro/ train system. Every public transit system is different and for arrivals who need to get to an appointment or work on time, they must know how to get there.

Let them know about groups/ events for arts, exercise, music, etc. 

This may seem less important, but for me it has been my salvation. When you’re in a new place, especially with a language barrier, you have no idea what to do or where to go for fun. You don’t have any friends yet and making some seems like a daunting prospect. Thankfully in places like Spain or countries in Latin America, people are really friendly and will usually talk to you/ ask for your number if you just show up to events/ bars, etc. However, this is not always the case, and helping people know what fun events are happening in their city (especially if they have kids or are on their own) is extremely beneficial to their self-esteem and mental health.

Invite them to dinner

This cannot be stressed enough, the best way to welcome someone to your country is to invite them to share dinner with you and your family. Some of my favorite moments have been cooking dinner or eating with friends from Iraq, Burundi, the Congo or Nepal. They always make me feel like an honored guest or additional family member. A high percentage of international students never set foot in a U.S. home. Inviting someone to share a meal, perhaps even a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, goes a long way in making them feel welcome.

Share with them something you enjoy doing or unique to your town/ city

Let them know what makes your town or city great. What do you and your family like to do? What’s special about this place? What would you like them to remember? My host family in Costa Rica took me with them on a trip to a volcano they liked to visit. They also just let me sit with them in the kitchen and learn how to make arroz con leche. It’s the little moments you remember most.

Help them know what to do when they get sick

This is extremely important. Getting sick is scary. Getting sick in another country is terrifying. Not knowing what to do or how to talk to a doctor, much less how to pay for it, is one of the worst experiences arrivals face. One of the things we did with LUCHA (a nonprofit helping Latino and Hispanic immigrants inVirginia) was provide transportation and interpretation services for families when they needed to go to the hospital or dentist. This helped put our friends more at ease and receive the health care they needed.

Take them out of the city for the day

Sometimes when you move to a new place, you’re so concerned about checking off all the boxes of how to live, you forget to enjoy the country and get out and actually see it. This is where taking your friends out of town for a relaxing day trip is really needed. Maybe go swimming in a nearby lake or camping in a state park. Take them to see a show in a nearby city. Share with them something in the area that let’s them get out of their environs and experience your country in a new way.

Just be there for support and encouragement

Moving to a new place is extremely difficult, especially for people who know they cannot return home due to persecution or lack of opportunity. Having friends and neighbors who come alongside is not only beneficial for new arrivals, it deeply enriches the lives of those around them.

I’ve made some of my best friends in other countries as well as second families who came to the U.S. from other countries. The concept of “loving your neighbor” or showing hospitality is central to most faiths and moral codes around the world. It also just makes life more fun. 🙂

Friends and family from the U.S. and around the world make life better.